is that a sausage
no its a sassage
FUCK
(Source: wutangis4ever, via peetaah)
[video]
Friends, roommates, and multiple Mat(t)hews:
It is with great pleasure that I announce the formal confirmation of my attendance at dinner on the eve of the 5th of May. Methinks the hour of 7pm is the most joyous of times to embark on an evening of unbridled hedonistic pleasures: imbibing drinks unknown, supping on culinary orgasma, dancing in shadows dark and sensuous.
And what better way to indulge in the annual delights of “Drinko-de-Mayo” than to celebrate in the arms of our Latin mother, Kay n’ Daves. I only hope we may suckle from her infinite margarita teat as we revel in the glory of salty-sweet, inebriated bliss.
Season’s blessings
“Theodore heard of Youth Lagoon before Max. Max heard of them after Cindy, but Cindy heard of them before Don. Who’s the bigger asshole?”
- Hipster Logic Problems by Larry Fleury
Other People:
Me:
Heeled rainboots:
Jeans without back pockets:
Ed Hardy:
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
“At a time like this that’s all you can think to say?”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
“I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.”
“I would not say such things if I were you!”
“I do not suppose you could speed things up?”
“Skip to the end!”
“That is the sound of ultimate suffering.”
“Inconceivable!”
Dear American Apparel,
Is this really how you sell clothing? This chick could not look less enthused to be posing for this picture (and the fact that this image is part of a flash banner ad has me seizing with disdain, not epileptic delight).
Instead of clothing her in your customary mesh/leather thong-leotard-halter, you handed this girl my grandma’s walking outfit, straight out of a Tuesday Morning catalogue. More importantly, it needs to be addressed that this young woman looks like a geriatric Neapolitan ice cream sandwich. No one who can reasonably fit into those high-rise, front pleated pants is going anywhere near dairy.
There’s a reason you don’t sell shirts that say “Legalize fashion crimes”, so stop with the offensively bad sartorial endorsements. Instead, stick with what you do best - making slutty party/rave/hipster-wear in every Crayola color.
Signed,
Yours truly.
“Theory: Nicki Minaj is Actually Jay-Z Sped Up”
Thank you, Vice.com, for making this evening of Stumble procrastination worthwhile.
(Source: Flickr / wbsloan, via observando)
